The "Jada Pinkett" First Date

Fri, 08/31/2012 - 2:09pm

I was using online dating for the first time, and I met this woman on one of the sites that seemed kind of interesting, but the only problem was that her profile pictures were blurry.  Based on the pictures, she could be really sexy and curvy, or not cute at all.  I kept asking her to email me more pictures, but she just kept telling me that she was so hot and cute, and that she looked like Jada Pinkett.  She kept telling me she looked like Jada Pinkett over and over again.  Even though I was somewhat skeptical, I decided to meet with her anyway to see if she was delusional or not.  Who wants to miss out on a date with someone that is as hot as Jada Pinkett.  I was curious.

One day, I was working on my laptop at a local coffee shop, and I told her to come and meet me.  I was not going to setup some fancy first date when I had no idea what this woman really looked like.  She ended up getting lost and it took forever for her to find the place.  She ends up not finding the coffee shop at all, but she finds a restaurant that is right around the corner.  I tell someone to watch my things, and then I walk down the street to the restaurant to go and get her.

I walk in and there is my Jada Pinkett!  She has a beer belly.  She is wearing a dress that looks like she owned it when she was 10.  The sleeves are like 6 inches too short, and it looks like a monks outfit.  The dress is unstylish, unflattering, monk outfit brown, and her shape is terrible.  Last but not least, her hair is all over the place and looks like a bird's nest.

"I had no idea Jada Pinkett had a beer belly and looked so bad in person."

The whole rest of the date she keeps telling me how much I want her as she stares at me with those crazy person eyes. 

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